I don't usually post anything personal, but today I just need a friend.
Last July, the doctors diagnosed my husband of 48 years with lung cancer. He's nearing his last days, and I'm having trouble dealing with the inevitable.
It feels like the sun is dying with him, and I don't know what to do. Seeing him breaks my heart, but the thought of not seeing him tears out my soul.
My children are hurting as much as I am, and it's killing me to see them try to hide their suffering to ease my pain. They must forget that I know them better than anyone.
I keep asking myself: Is this a test of faith? Why would the Lord want to do that to me? I'm not perfect, but I've always been faithful.
Then I think, maybe He just wants to take my husband home because He misses him, misses the laughter, the ever-present smile, the michieviousness in those beautiful blue eyes, the happiness he brings, the way he touches the deepest part those around him.
I don't know the Lord's reasons, but I do know I desperately need Him to help me through this.
Sue, words can't express my pain in hearing this news. This is the worst news I've heard in a long, long time. What an example of a beautiful marriage you two have been. Words are meaningless, I know. My fervent prayers will be that you continue to feel his love and know how glad you'll be to see him again. I feel so blessed to have known him and to have seen such a true love shared between two people. How lucky you are to have had him this long! -- some people never find this kind of love during a lifetime. He'll be watching over you, Sue.
ReplyDeleteDana, you don't know how much I pray you are right. I need him to watch over me. I feel that he will, but this is so...final.
ReplyDeleteLove you Aunt Sue! I am here whenever you need me....Uncle Jim will be truly missed! HUGS N KISSES TO YOU AND THE FAMILY!! XOXO
ReplyDeleteJust an update. My husband passed away on January 26, 2011...the same day I wrote the post.
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